My thoughts nothing fancy or proper…..

There are so many things going on in my head that if I don’t attempt to let them out, I’m not even sure what would happen (normally it ends up with me crying my eyes out and Isaac holding me in his arms its the way pregnant ladies roll). But today is a very special day, a day I really wish I was sitting in Oregon along with my friends and family back home. Today we remember Sono Harris, at 10:30 Oregon time is her memorial service. If you’ve never heard of her thats okay we don’t live to be famous:-) You might have heard of a few of her children Josh Harris back in the day wrote a book called “I kissed Dating goodbye” plus many more books (if I was writing this on Josh I would put them down) and also her twin sons Alex and Brett wrote a book more recently called “do hard things” and one of my favorites of her kids is Joel Harris but that would be because he is one of my dearest friends husband and actually at this point in my life a lot of my interaction with Sono (besides that she was leadership in my church) was because of Kimmy and Joel… She also has 3 more wonderful children Sarah, Isaac and James who I have not had much interaction with but they were always those little kids running around church events (they are not so little any more) and her husband Gregg (which if you are from the homeschool world you might have heard of him). You see Sono passed away last Sunday which was July 4th… I don’t think I’ve ever cried so much on a July 4th the beginning of the day one of her kids posted that the end was very near, Sono had cancer so though it was not surprise it wasn’t exactly the most enlightening thing to hear. She passed away later on that night surounded by her loving family. The Harris family are VERY strong Christians and Sono was prepared to meet her beloved Jesus in Heaven. A little before Sono passed away Isaac (my darling husband) and I were talking about her we had just finished watching fireworks and were waiting to get out of the parking lot, while we were talking Isaac invisioned Sono dancing to Heaven(Sono was a dancer in her day) little did we know that just about 30 minutes later she went to be with her Lord! It hit WAY harder then I thought it would be hearing she had gone on, I don’t know if it was cause she was an amazing women of God that wanted to live a life for Him and to serve those around her or that she shared a birthday with my Mom and was only a year younger then her. I was never as close to Sono as many of my friends were but that doesn’t mean that I didn’t have a love for her and my heart goes out to all those back home that were able to be much closer to her and I’ve been reading their posts all week. Though they are glad Sono is no longer in pain I can’t even imagine what her husband and family are feeling.

There is one silly memory of Sono that always put a smile on my face, at one point many years ago she found out my Dad loves sushi and raw sushi to top it off she was so excited about that, there was times after that she would ask him if he had any good sushi lately or tell him of some she had. When you talked to your she was always the type to put her hand on your arm… She always wanted the best for her family and friends and continued to spur those around her on to be the best they could be. I think when there will be many ways I will remember Sono in her looks but my favorite was the day that Joel and Kimmy got married she was fabulous I could never do her (who I’m sure was very excited about getting another wonderful daughter inlaw) or her amazing dress justice in explaining how she looked but I will hold dear how she looked that day….

Here is a favorite quote that Joel put on his facebook after his Mom passed away….

One thing I have come to realize about all this is that what we started with in June at Geva Theater’s What’s Nextfestival, and what we ended with today are two completely different works.  This was an amazing metamorphosis to be a part of.  with a constant stream of creative ideas coming from not just one person but all the people involved, I found myself in awe of the creative process as a whole.  I remember getting shivers down’ my spine hearing an explanation in detail of how a specific scenes were going to look and then the pleasure of seeing(or being part of) the final product.  the final show was for sure the best one.  all cues were on point and so was the performance.  In all I have come out of this experience with a smile on my face, and most of all I thank God for giving me the grace to pull through this trying time, and also for the opportunity.

The hardest thing about this whole experience has been the past few months without my lovely wife.  After going through the intensity of a PADTS in 2005 and surviving many tours with All Access on my own.  I came to the assumption that all would be the same.  I assumed that if i focused on my work a few months would fly by and it would feel as though she simply took a different route to Oregon.  Although the performing side of things flew by, I have never felt so lost and lonely in my entire life.   Heidi, you have changed me, you’ve spoiled me for the better.  when you read this I hope that you catch a glimpse of the depth of affection, admiration and just plain love I have for you.  I never want to go home to nothing but your cat and a litter box to tend to ever, ever, ever again!!  Seriously though not only are you the love of my life but it seems that there is a very close tie between you and my sanity.  seriously I can’t think strait when you’re not around. WOW, it’s getting late i need to wind this down so that i can call you…  well if anyone didn’t get the point… I LOVE MY WIFE!! now I am gonna call her and then go to bed. Oregon here I come(11 days left)

Much love from Rochester,

Isaac

On Saturday PUSH performed with teens living with cancer at the “Annual Celebration for Melissa’s Living Legacy Teen Cancer Foundation”. They have been working with the teens for about 8 weeks and what they did was have the teens tell their stories.  I do wish I could have been there to see them perform, I’ve known many people who have been hit by cancer so this is something that I think is just so totally sweet that PUSH was able to do this. If you want to know more about the group that they were working with for the past 8 weeks here is a link to that group….  www.melissaslivinglegacy.org

I wish it was Isaac writing this cause I know he would have so much to say about the whole process of working with teens that have gone through so much more then any of us can even imagine…

Please be praying for PUSH they are doing “Dracula” starting this week and as always the week before performing is crazy going! Isaac told me last night that it still isn’t as intense as life was when we were in YWAM and performing, so I’m guessing that’s a good thing!

on a super small note… Tommy and I are doing good, he’s getting more and more active and i’m getting less and less mobile… we’ve been sick almost non stop since we’ve been back at my parents house which has been about 2 months so it would be nice for that to stop before Baby Angie arrives which should be at the most 9 weeks and at the soonest 5 weeks

Video Here

Tickets Here

as you can see from the video this is not a show about love and harmony.  And Love, we know love it’s in our hearts,  But to truly understand what evil is you may have to step outside of yourself into something else.  Dracula’s story perhaps, look in the mirror and see what shape evil can take.

It has been a long time since I have had time to post anything about what I have been up to because I have been too busy since rehearsals have started with PUSH.  I am looking forward to telling you more about what we are doing with TLC (teens living with cancer) and the school shows we will be doing, but for now this has been my little update on Dracula.  I have also been having a blast helping with the Holts new Luvaboos store on the weekends. anyway this is Isaac signing out (i would talk more but i need sleep)

It is something I have rarely talked to people about my PADTS. There were so many weird experiences good and bad, cut the bad cause all experiences teach us to grow in ways we don’t expect if we like it or not. But that’s what I’ve been working out since my PADTS. I personally have not been able to share from my heart what exactly happened those six months, because so many times it was what I call the bad times would keep coming up. What confused me even more after all that is all I wanted was to go back and do it over again cause ever since I’ve stopped PADTS there has been any empty hole, I knew it would happen, the staff told us it would, but it was seeming silly to me that I was taking so long to reenter (YWAM term) into normal life! I really have had so much going for me since I’ve left YWAM getting married and having my first kid who is so cute and then to top it off getting pregnant a second time and finding out I was having my first daughter.   

I have since my PADTS contemplated those six months over and over and over again in my head, it leads to many thoughts and emotions. The biggest one that ends up making me frustrated is “WHY DO I MISS IT SO BADLY?” then a few weeks ago it hit me all this time I thought it was the people and performing that I missed (don’t get me wrong I do miss them) but it wasn’t those things what I missed in these few years that big hole was my experience that I had with God in those six months, this might sound crazy for those of you who aren’t Christians but I have never had such an amazing time with God as I did in those six months and it hit me how I would never trade anything for the time I had with my Lord in those months, it was a constant knowing that He was there protecting us, laughing with us, and using us to share His love with others, even amongst all our human drama that we would dig up to make it such an unfocused time on why we really were there.

Anyways I don’t know if this makes sense to anyone but me, I just wanted to remember the “beginning of the rest” of my life after three years and also to say hi and hugs to all of those crazy people who were there on that weird adventure. Plus too finely get a chance to share a little bit of what I came out of after so many people Christians and not Christians supported me with words of encouragement, prayers and finances. I think its only fair to let them know that they didn’t waist a cent or prayer on this little person!

love always -heidi

how i looked for the show with my fellow goths

This has been a very interesting little adventure going back and forth between NY and Oregon… but alas we were finelly able to go to my Midwife here in Oregon and get an ultrasound done! Everything looks great both Angie and I are health so far…. We took a few pictures so here ya go!

meanwhile, BUSY could be one word to describe these next few months for me, I will be rehearsing during the weekdays starting at six in the morning. after that I’ll have just enough time to take a shower and head to subway until 10 when I head home. On the weekends i’ll try to pick up some odd jobs, on days we are not performing.  all the while i will be looking forward to seeing my lovely little family in person again in December when i will be a dad to my second little bundle of joy.

please pray for us it has been a trying time with all of the moving around this past year, between finances and moving stresses there is plenty to pray for.  If anyone is interested in coming to see a performance with PUSH let me know and I will get you the dates we are performing.

although i do have a job at subway i only earn about 850 a month and rent is  1051 (everything included) so we are still relying on God for our finances every month… just keep us in your prayers

-God Bless

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